


One With Darkness

by Chericola



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 09:17:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16014905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chericola/pseuds/Chericola
Summary: Aqua is plagued by Phantom Aqua even after her defeat.





	One With Darkness

Even after her defeat, her Phantom never truly left her. Aqua could always sense her in the back of her mind, somewhere in the corner of her eye. She’s my darkness. The weakness in my heart. She’ll never go away.

Her phantom’s words echoed in her ears without ceasing, all through the endless hours.

No one cares about you. No one ever did.

No one wants you back. If they did, they’d have returned for you already.

You belong in the darkness.

Each time she heard those words, she vehemently denied them. ‘Terra and Ven care about me.’

They’re not here though, are they?

‘That doesn’t mean anything. Our bond…’

Your bond doesn’t exist. It’s as fake as the wayfinders you made for them. Why would they ever care for you? You couldn’t save them. They needed you and you let them down. They must hate you.

‘Mickey cares.’

He’s not here either.

‘Mickey was here. I helped him close the Door to Darkness. He wanted to help me.’

He didn’t come to help you. He used you for his own ends. And then he abandoned you to rot.

‘That’s not true!’

Isn’t it? She could almost imagine the voice of her darkness smiling. She gritted her teeth. Then where is he?

‘He… he’ll come back. I know he will. Him, or someone else.’ They have to…

Do you really believe that? Why would they waste time trying to rescue a worthless master who couldn’t even save her friends?

‘Stop it!’

You had your chance at freedom and lost it. You won’t get another one.

‘I chose to stay behind! I had to save Riku!’

And look at where it’s gotten you. Still stuck here, in the neverending darkness. Fated to spend eternity by yourself. What a choice you made.

‘Shut. Up.’

Her voice’s laughter rang in her ears. You know I’m right. Rest. Fade into the darkness…

‘I can’t. I have to keep going… for Ven and Terra. They need me. I have to find a way out soon, for them.’

Why bother? They don’t deserve your loyalty and devotion. It’s because of them that you’re in this hell. And what makes you think you’ll find a way out? You’re trapped here. There is no escape. You might as well fade into the darkness now. End your suffering.

‘No!’

And so it continued, on and on and on. The insidious thoughts chipped away at her resolve, bit by bit. Worthless Keyblade master… couldn’t save her friends… how they must despise you. Like you despise yourself. No one wants you. No one ever did.

It was impossible to block it out. The insidious voice came from within herself–her own hidden doubts and fears. The things she tried not to think about.

What if it was true? The thought made her insides curdle. Why would she lie to herself? This wasn’t some stranger. This is me. My inner darkness. 

You see? No one is coming for you. You are alone here, lost, forgotten…

‘I… I… I can’t believe that. Not yet.’

Maybe it’ll be easier to just… fade away. To become one with the darkness.

‘No. No!’

*****

The time came when she was too exhausted to hold it back any longer. After a particularly gruelling battle she fell to her knees, curled up into a ball and cried. There didn’t seem any point in continuing anymore. 

As the tears slid down her cheeks, the emotions she’d long suppressed tore at her. Excruciating pain. Grief. Rage. Terror. They coursed through her, burning everything else away.

Terra, Ven. I’m so sorry. I failed you.

No one is coming to rescue me. They’ve abandoned me. I’ll be stuck here, forever…

I deserve this. I’m worthless. Why would anyone bother searching for me? 

It went on and on. She closed her eyes. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore—not the Realm of Light, not her promises, nothing.

****

She thought she’d die. She was wrong. (She’d been wrong about a lot of things.) Instead, the darkness became part of her. It felt strange at first, but eventually it became a comfort. It enveloped her like a friend. The only friend she had left. (Or maybe it’s the only friend she ever had.)

Before, she would’ve been horrified with herself. After all, the darkness was the enemy, wasn’t it? She’d been taught that all her life. She’d been repulsed at the mere thought of using darkness, thinking it evil. Now… now it was what was helping her stay alive.

Now that she was part of the darkness, the Denizens of Darkness had stopped attacking her. It was a relief. She’d been so tired of being hunted, fearing for her life. Now she was safe. She’d wanted that so much, for so long.

Her Keyblade was gone; its bond to her was broken. She didn’t care anymore. It had only brought her ruin. Now she could rest. The darkness offered that. Nothing else mattered.

She didn’t know how much time had passed when she felt newcomers arrive. Their hearts were bright, like hers had once been.

She followed the beacons of light to their source. Two beings of Light, who had already been attacked. One of them, a silver-haired young man, was crouched to one side, gripping one arm with a pained look on his face. The other being was familiar…a mouse. A few feet in front of them lay a weapon… a Keyblade.

‘This Keyblade…’

Her voice was dull and hoarse from lack of use.

She picked up the weapon. It felt strangely familiar in her hand.

‘That voice…’ It was the mouse who spoke. He sounded shocked.

She gazed at the mouse, and recognised him for who he was. The old her would’ve felt relief, joy, and concern at their situation. She would’ve cried, she supposed. Now all she could feel was a dulled resentment and anger. She’d waited so long for someone to come for her. She’d dreamed of it, after each Heartless battle she’d endured where she’d ended up bruised and bloodied and tired. She’d dreamed until she recognised her folly and stopped.

Why hadn’t they come sooner? She’d waited and waited.

She let herself take form and faced him. Let him see the anger in her now-amber eyes. Yes, they had finally come for her, but not in time. If they were really her friends, they would have come sooner. She had given up everything. Her keyblade; her light. Now they came?

They gaped at her as if they were seeing a ghost. Maybe they were.

She opened her mouth and felt her tongue form the words she most needed to say.

'Mickey… you’re too late.’


End file.
